Access suck big time!!

So today I’m really annoyed with Access. I was at core shopping centre and was supposed to be picked up from 3 - 3:20, which is already annoying considering that can’t give me an exact time so I have to stand in one spot for twenty minutes. First of all, I didn’t even receive a confirmation call to begin with, letting me know if or if not I’m being picked up for the day. So I came down at 2:40 anyways and waited until 3:30, with no luck. I called access 5 times during this time, and each time I was given the run around. I first called to confirm my ride, and make sure someone was even on their way. They let me know that someone was, and that the call is just a Curtesy call anyways. So I continued waiting. when no one arrived, I called again and was told that the driver was actually parked outside waiting for me. So we started frantically searching for the Access vehicle, and could not locate it no matter where we checked. The Access support staff told us that they would try to get in touch with the driver and call us back. We never got a call back, so we called them again. Another person told me the same thing, the Access vehicle is waiting outside. Again, stressed out and frantic, we started looking for the vehicle again. Still couldn’t find it and were told that they would try to contact the driver again. Then we were told that the driver cannot be reached and that they need to figure out what to do with their supervisor. I called back again and was then told that the driver had marked me as a no show. I called back again, and was this time told that the driver actually canceled himself, probably because of a mechanical issue. They told me that an urgent request had been put in and I will be next to be picked up. At this point I had already been waiting over an hour, had called back 5 times, and was now being told that the neared driver will take anywhere from 4:30-4:50. Isn’t this ridiculous? That means I am now being picked up about 1.5-2 hours late. It’s the second snow day, and they’ve left people waiting for hours. Hopefully they actually arrive this time, or you’ll hear from me again soon, and this time, I’m gonna be pretty mad about it.

Access

  

It seems like I’m blogging a lot these days. It feels like my blog is my sounding board. And that’s good for me because I can get into shit with my words. I am writing this funny and a little condescending. I don’t really care if I get into trouble so here is my thoughts about access, my favourite topic of my life. I moved to Calgary when I was 18 years old. 

Now I am in my 40’s so that means I’ve taken access for about 23 years. Access is a service in Calgary for people who have disabilities. It is a service that picks people up who can’t drive or walk or take regular transit. In my opinion… it sucks. They have good drivers who I’m friends with and other drivers who I don’t understand why they are working in this field. They are not reliable… There was one time they forgot to pick me up and several times they were really late! 

Or sometimes they come and I’m not ready so they leave. Right now I can book all my trips online and I like that but if I go to the gym and I book it for an 11am drop off they will get me there at 10:20.. it is kind of bullshit. I wish they could have me there like 15 minutes before my drop off time… not 40 minutes! 

I was on the Transit Accessibility board for four years. It was good but seeing it now, what it has become… they need a new system. They phone me when they’re on their way but because it’s an automated system it isn’t that accurate on timing. 

I would like to ask someone from council to ride the access transit for one day… and see how it feels. Maybe I should try my hand at winning the lottery! If I won I could buy a van and a driver to take me around. I could say a lot of bad stuff about access but it’s not worth it for me to get mad about. It’s a system I need to have in my life to get around everyday. 

It’s time to be brutally honest

 I am sick and tired of going about my day and seeing the looks of pity from other people. I am completely over the bullshit that comes along with being in my shoes. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has some internalized biases towards people with disabilities, and I’m fucking over it. I wrote down some questions for you that I want you to answer for yourself with complete honesty. Don’t sugar coat your answers to make yourself look nice, be completely and brutally honest. 

Have you ever seen that show "What Would You Do"?

    - Do you know someone who has a disability?

   - Do you have any friends who have disabilities? If so, what’s the first thing you.   

      see when you look at them?

   -  Do you have a disability? 

    - What is holding you back from dating someone with a disability?

   -  Would you say "hi" to a stranger on the street who has a disability or would you 

       look the other way?

• Would you be embarrassed to be seen with somebody who has a disability? Why?

• Do you speak to people with disabilities in a different way than you do other people? Why?

• Have you ever purposely avoided eye contact with a person who has a visible disability in order to make yourself more “comfortable”? Why?

• Have you ever seen a person with a visible disability in public and given them a look, and wondered “what are you doing out here?” Why?

• Do you interact with people who have disabilities differently than you do other people? Why?

• Do you think it is weird or uncomfortable to see people with disabilities in relationships? Why?

If I had the guts I would go up to someone and ask them "What do you think when you look at me"? Would they be honest with themselves and I? Or would they try to spare my feelings? 

If you want to answer:

What if!!

 I was wondering if I could do something over, would my life be different? On Monday night I watched American Ninja Warriors and there was a guy in his mid twenties who had Cerebral Palsy. He wore braces on his legs when he was a kid and now he is competing on American Ninja Warrior.  He doesn’t have to wear braces anymore. If you don’t know, America Ninja Warrior features an obstacle course and you have to use your upper body strength to complete it. I am doing something like that with Cros.fit every Tuesday and every other Thursday. 

I remember when I was a kid I had to wear braces on my legs too. But I don’t know why I needed to wear them because I couldn’t walk on my own, only with help from others. I used to crawl around the house with the braces on my legs. the braces were pinching my bum, so I didn’t like them. One day I stopped wearing them and I started doing whatever I wanted to. Babies can walk at an early age as my two sisters did, but I was 13 years old when I finally got up to try to walk on my own. I remember one time when I was on the couch watching television and I needed to go to the bathroom; I thought I could try to take couple of steps and see how far I can go without falling. My mom would cautiously watch me from the kitchen but I didn’t care in the moment, I wanted to try to take a few steps on my own without falling. I began taking a step and another one and then two more steps and so on until I reached the bathroom. I felt like a baby taking her first wobbly steps. I know that sounds crazy at 13 years old, but if you were me in that moment you would’ve understood just how big of a deal it was. I will never forget that day. 

Today I can’t take steps anymore because of the mini stroke I had 7 years ago. As a result of the stroke, I have fallen a lot over the years and have split my head open. I still have scars on my head from this. Watching American Ninja Warriors, it got me thinking… if I keep working at it and doing cross fit, would I become as strong as him? Watching him, you would never know that he used to wear braces on his legs. I wonder if I continue to push myself and my body, will I be able to walk on my own again? Will I ever be able to do the same things I did before I had the mini stroke? I am inspired by the stories I hear of others, like this man on American Ninja Warriors, because it brings me hope and optimism. I have hope and optimism that I will be able to help my body heal in order to do things that I used to do, such as taking steps. I have hope and optimism that I will be able to grow and strengthen my body so that I can do even more than I could before. 

If this man could spend his childhood wearing braces on his legs, to now be competing on American Ninja Warrior, what does this mean to me? I was able to take steps on my own before, and now this is an obstacle that I am overcoming. Thinking back to that moment when I was 13 is something that is bittersweet. I wish I could relive it over and over again, but I also use it as motivation to continue to push myself. I know that one day I will be able to do even more than I could before I had the stroke. Everything takes time, patience, and effort. I am going to keep working out and building my strength and endurance. I aim to inspire myself and others. 

Here is my thoughts and feelings about having a disability!!

There are some good things and bad things about having Cerebral Palsy. For example, because I have Cerebral Palsy, I know a lot about myself and have learned a lot, but also, I talk like I’m fucking drunk and people don’t understand what I’m talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. My cerebral palsy will not define me or hold me back from achieving anything that I want to do in my life. I am more than simply my disability. I am a sister, an auntie, and a friend. I am someone who can do anything she sets her mind to. 

I love my life and I have accomplished a lot of really amazing things in my life. I won’t ever be sorry for anything that I have done. I’m a blogger and a writer. I blog about things that are important to me and also things that I have done. I write short stories about things that I know very well, and that is people who have a disabilities. I’m not an existential writer but I am not going to stop writing. I started blogging in 2010 as just something new to do. I was creating a space for myself to be open and honest about my feelings and experiences. Blogging is something that brings me happiness, and lets me focus on my mental health by airing all my shit out. I enjoy the sense of community that it brings, and also that there is a chance that someone reading could relate to what I am going through, and see that they aren’t alone. 

But there is something inside me that I am feeling very strongly and I need to write about it. It is how people see people who have a disabilities like me. if they only took the time to get to know me, they would see that there is more to me. but they only want to see what they want to see. I feel like people don’t give me a chance by actually getting to know who I am as a person. If they did, they would see that there is a lot more to me than just my disability. Everyone has things that they cannot change about themselves, that they have to learn to adapt to and live with. For me, this is my disability. It is not something that I chose, but instead something that I must live with everyday. I am not defined by my disability, but it is a part of who I am. 

My experience with cerebral palsy is something that has good parts but also bad parts. I know that sometimes it can be a little hard to understand when I am speaking as a result of it, but I wish that people would try harder to meet me where I’m at. It drives me crazy when people ignore me and talk to whoever I am with because I am perfectly capable. I don’t like when I’m out in public and people stare at me. I understand to a point that not everyone has experience meeting people with disabilities, but I am still a human being. 

Now that I have finished my race, and don’t have anything planned in the near future, I am hoping to dedicate more of my time to writing and blogging. I want to continue to educate people about what life is like as someone with a disability, and also share my thoughts and feelings. I want to create my short stories as a more relatable and meaningful way to share my experiences, and the experiences of other people with disabilities and what they face on a daily basis. To me, writing and blogging are important pieces of my life, and I enjoy educating others about what it is like to be in my shoes. 

 

My Next Adventure!!

 I’m wondering to myself what is the next chapter in my life that I want to take on.  Not sure what I want to do but I want to challenge myself. My roommate said you could swim Vernon to Kelowna. My trainer asked what is my next challenge. She suggested to go to another swimming competition. It is another one in Kelowna that is in August every year. You have to swim 7km. To be honest I love being in the water because I can be free from knowing that I have a disability and think about whatever I want. I can be by myself with my thoughts.

Sometimes I am really wondering how my family and friends think about me and what I want to do with my life. I know sometimes I can give my mom a heartache but when  I put my mind on something I don’t give up. I believe that this is my life not anybody else’s, so I should be able to live it the way I want it to.

Five years ago I was on holiday with my family and the last night we were camping and then their was two guys who had disabilities. They were from Australia and they travelled in a van and were going all over the world and they do it for a living. Thinking back 7 years ago, when I had my mini stroke, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t believe that I had seen them and now I think about them right now that I’m writing another blog post. 

I would love to hop in a car and get out of here all by myself and don’t think about anybody or anything. I would like to travel around with my family and my friend. However, I think it would be more fun to go travelling around the world on my own. Going to places that I want to go to and see if I can get around on my own and meet people and see if I can get some help from them. Would they help or they would look at me and say WHAT THE FUCK. 

Sometimes I think about doing something like that and seeing how people react to me. I think people here have a good sense of taking time to talk to someone like me. I know people don’t understand me and I sound like someone who is drunk. Most of the time my family and friends don’t know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, I am working on a story about five people with disabilities and their lives after high school. I am trying to give to the world a glimpse of what living with a disability looks like. The story is called “How do you know right for wrong?”, as the characters go through traumatic experiences that changed their lives. Life is the balance between good and bad and it is similar for all humans. However, it can be harder on people with disabilities, especially if they don’t have the right support. 

My thoughts and feelings on this big goal that I did!!!

Hi Everyone,

 

I often feel that I need to show people that I am not just a person with a disability.  I try really hard to not let me disability affect me or stop me from accomplishing things in my life.  I have had many interesting adventures such as jumping off the Sky Tower in Auckland New Zealand, parasailing in Okanagan Lake, Swimming with Dolphins in Tortola in the Caribbean, Riding in an inflatable boat through white water in the Alaskan wilderness, petting a Koala in Australia and a baby crocodile in the Florida Everglades, I ski and I am on a soccer team.  

 

Seven years ago, my life changed.  I had a mini stroke and my whole body had shut down and I felt I had to get back to where I was.  I started back to exercising and a year later I was beginning to feel my normal again.  I decided that for my 40th birthday I wanted to accomplish something really big.  I had to think about it for a while but I came up with swimming across the Okanagan Lake in the Interior Savings Across the Lake Swim held annually (July) in Kelowna, BC.  It is a 2.1-kilometre swim so I knew it would be a great goal and I started training in 2019 so I would be ready to go in 2021.   I was even Athlete of the Week in December of 2019.   Well, we all know what happened in 2020 – Covid hit and I had to stop training.  I was out of the pool for almost 2 years.  I was also diagnosed with having a hip issue.  Because of my cerebral Palsy my muscles are too tight and they were pulling my bone out of the hip socket.  Here we go again, everything seemed to be stacking up against me.  BUT with some medical intervention I got my groove back.  So, in late 2022 I was able to get back into the pool 3 times a week and I also found a gym where I could see a trainer and work 1 – 1 (2 times a week) to push me towards my goal.  Last Saturday, July 15 2023, I met the goal head on.  I got in the water at 7:45 am and began my swim at 7:55 – 2 hours, 23 minutes and 2 seconds later I got back in my wheel chair and celebrated with lots of friends and family at the finish line.  I am so proud of myself, and I know everyone is feeling pride for me.  Don’t ever give up!  You can do anything you set your mind to.  I’m just enjoying the afterglow of this event and in the upcoming months I will be thinking about what my next goal should be.

Pictures and videos of July 15