Dear 80-year-old Shawna Mattinson,
Hey you, it’s been awhile. You’ve made it this far. It looks like you’ve
done a lot of stuff in your life that you may have thought wouldn’t happen
decades ago. Looking back, I’m sure you would not change a thing because look
at what you’ve achieved.
Right now, at 34 years of age, I am recovering from a stroke that has
hindered my progress and dreams of walking on my own one day. It happened out
of nowhere and, just like that, I had doctors telling me what I could and could
not do. Lately I have felt like there have been constant roadblocks to my
dreams and goals, a feeling that destroys me because of how independent and
determined I am (which you know of course). Will I walk again? Are the doctors wrong about
my possibility of walking, as they have been in the past? Are you walking right
now, and I just can’t see beyond this moment?
I hope that you are able to walk right now, although you are super old.
Also, I hope that you’ve done all the things that I am hoping to accomplish
right now (and many more things that I can’t predict, knowing you). I wonder if
you’ve written other books beyond the two that I’ve written (and am writing)
now, and if you will continue writing until you’ve passed. Also, have you
continued your work on that project with that guy and become one of the main
voices on his website for others with disabilities? Has your constant blogging
and website work that you worked so hard on in your twenties and thirties
opened more doors for you? I hope that it has, because right now it seems like
I’ve started a million small projects and I hope they amount to the bigger
picture one day (or I’ll throw my computer out my window!). What about the
accessibility project? Did your videos of crashing into inaccessible buildings
lead to people making changes with the city? What other projects have you come
up with over the years, and did your focus change as you entered your fourties,
fifties, sixties, seventies, and now (freaking eighties!?).
Oh yes, and what about your dream of travelling the world? At 34 years
old, I have currently been around Canada (British Columbia, Nova Scotia,
P.E.I., New Brunswick), Mexico, Hawaii, the Dominican Republic, Alaska. I went
on a cruise from New Zealand (Where I jumped off the Sky Tower) all the way
back to Vancouver. Some of the spots I stopped at on the way were Wellington,
Sydney, Port Vila, and Pago Pago. Knowing that you’re over forty years ahead of
me, I know you’ve seen so much more and I can’t wait to experience all the
places I did not know I would be. How was the cruise that you went on to the
Caribbean when you were 35 years old? I can’t wait. Did you see all of Europe
(especially Paris, Rome?). Did you say hi to your friend in Denmark like you
wanted to?
How is your family? What are your nieces and nephews up to now? Have
they grown into the people you imagined they’d be? How are your sisters? Are
your sisters looking out for you now that your parents are gone? Is that what
they wanted? Do you guys have fun being old together? Do you live together in a
nursing home? At 80 you’re no longer required to follow societal rules and
norms. I hope you take advantage of getting to say and do whatever the heck you
want without consequence. Do you feel worn out? Have you fulfilled all the
dreams you discovered along the way? I hope so. You and I both know that the
end must be near now. I hope you’re almost falling apart from all the
adventures you’ve had. It has been one heck of a ride, I know!
I know you have a lot of friends in your life, but I hope you have
someone to share your hopes and dreams with too. In fact, I hope all your
adventures have had your closest friends by your side.
Well 80 year old self, I guess I’m left with more questions for you than
anything. I’m so curious about the life that lies before me. I hope you know
that you are an inspiration to me. I may not meet you in this life but I am
reaching for you, and I won’t give up. I hope that you are reaching for me too,
maybe we will meet in the middle. Maybe you are already watching over me like
my grandma. I will do my best with every bit of goodness I’ve been given to
make a difference in this world. I will not leave here before I’ve made my mark
and lived out my purpose. There is so much to do, don’t let me do it all on my
own.
I love you,
Shawna Mattinson
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