Thursday, April 28, 2016

A Mother Who's Trying to do the Right Thing for Her Daughter

In the news today, there was a mother who killed her mentally handicapped daughter. She lives in SW Calgary, so it hits a little close to home. The daughter was 38 years old and the mother was 68. The mom was a single mom to her daughter. It seems that the mother was the sole caregiver of her daughter her whole life. Her neighbour described her as "very dedicated" when it came to her daughter. She made an effort for her to be included in public school and ultimately be seen as a "regular" person. The maximum is five years for taking a life who have a disability but his just happened so no decisions have been made yet.  

Aside from all the political points that arise in this tragedy, I would like to focus on the heart of what's really happened here. If my mom looked after me like this mom, I would want my mom to euthanize me. Don't get me wrong, I would be grateful but I don't want rob my mom of anymore of her life. So my heart is broken because her mom's decision to single handedly take care of her, ultimately lead to her death. But on the other hand, it's not right to take another life because we don't know what the persons reality is, or what all goes on in their mind. 

Being that she was a single mom, I'm curious if she lacked support in her own life. Maybe she found her whole purpose in being a mother and caring for her daughter. Perhaps some part of her couldn't deal with the guilt of sending her to a home or an institution. Without a doubt, her identity was wrapped up in her daughter. Who knows if she hit a wall and snapped, or if she eventually gave up. We never know. 

This is the difficulty of caring for a person with significant disabilities. It does take a village and if there isn't one in place, you'll burn out. I wish parents didn't feel like they need to bear the burden so much. I wish there was someway we could tell our parents what to do if we can't talk. So they would know what to do and do the best thing for the child. Everybody needs help and we all want to help each other out. Having help with raising a child with disabilities should not make anyone feel ashamed or like they are a bad parent. It really is what is best for everyone in the end. 

Here is a link to the article: