There are a lot of things I can't do, I could make a whole list but I won't get into it. Beyond the things I can't do, I feel like there are a lot of things I feel I don't understand.. Like I lack the mental capacity to understand them. I don't know if it's the real truth, or if it's just my belief? I often feel like I am lacking or less than others. Sometimes for strange reasons like not being in relationship or having my own family. I don't even desire these things at the moment, but it's difficult not to compare myself to others.
I land on a spectrum of Cerebral Palsy, there are things I'm capable of doing like getting out of my chair and walking. However, there are others with Cerebral Palsy who can obtain degrees and full time jobs and I feel like those things are out of reach for me. This isn't a rant hoping for encouragement or sympathy, I'm just being honest about how I feel.
The last couple of years have been pretty tough. I felt in limbo and like I wasn't accomplishing a lot. I was knocking on a lot of doors that wouldn't open. I was writing some but I didn't feel passionate about it. My mini stroke left me feeling more disabled and vulnerable, I wondered "would I ever get my independence back"? I relied on people to help me more than I wanted too. Friends, even this period of my life was a gift to me. It opened my eyes, it made me want to live life to the fullest! I wanted to take more chances!! Tomorrow isn't promised so get out and LIVE!!! I need to tell my story. I want it to serve others on their journey.
No matter what goes on in my life. I am so grateful for who I am and who I'm becoming...
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