Inspiration and Admiration

           I came across this article about inspiration and admiration today, a lot of what the author had to say resonated with me. It made me reflect on the many times I've been to the gym and people have come by just to tell me how good of a job I'm doing. I don't mind it, I mean I know it's coming from a good place. The truth is, it is a big step (pun intended) to try walking after being in a wheelchair for all these years. I'm just trying to get a good workout in like everyone else. Why aren't you congratulating everyone else?? 

          What is inspiration and admiration to you? For me, I don't look at the challenges people face I look at what they've overcome in their life. Like Carly Fleischmann, at the age of 13 she finally could communicate with her family. She had gone her whole life being misunderstood and misrepresented but she never gave up! Now she can communicate who she is and what she wants to anyone willing to listen. "My everyday life in which I do exactly the same thing as everyone else should not inspire people, and yet I am constantly congratulated by strangers for simply existing." ~ Stella Young. I don't like the attitude of people being so surprised whenever someone with a disability is doing something with their life. 

Here is the article:
http://www.candoability.com.au/CDA/Blog/About-inspiration-and-admiration_557.html

What A Friend Looks Like For People With Disabilities

Regardless of struggles in my life, I have been blessed with good friends. My friends have always seen me for me and not my disability.

My roommate is my best friend. She is one friend who has always been there for me. We met at Between Friends where she was running a program, and we hit it off right away. I remember watching Simon’s Birch with her and she made me laugh the entire time. That’s what I think about when I think about my roommate, she is such a goof!

However, my roommate is more than her great sense of humour. She has always been there for me through the good and the bad. We’ve been through a lot together, and throughout it all she has looked past my disability and treats me like a human being and good friend. Seriously, she is not afraid to tell me like it is, which is exactly what I need sometimes. Honestly, I do not know what I’d do without her.

I am writing this because I want to reach out to the people who haven’t made good friends because some people can’t look past their disability. This is not okay! The definition of a friend is someone who truly understands you. So, look at the people in your life, do they understand the real you? If not, then they may not be the friend that you deserve. The trick is believing that you deserve good friends!

What Is The Word Disability?

First off, I hate labelling people. Were not all the same but we are put in the same box. When you label someone with a disability, or mental illness, or behavioural issue, it doesn't really encourage you to see past that. In other words, it doesn't really encourage you to see a whole human being. The word disability comes with a lot of assumptions of what a person is capable of doing. The word "disability" is an umbrella term for physical, learning, and developmental disabilities. It's kind of like how we lump together people of different races and assume they are all similar with similar characteristics (eg. all asians are smart). 

I know what it's like to be in the box. I know what it's like to be trapped in my body, but it doesn't even compare to the feeling of being trapped by that word. It's hard to be on the side and watch everyone play, it's like a game that I'm not a part of. I had to prove to myself and everyone around me of what I can do with my life. There is a lot of things I've done in my life that some people would never dream of doing. Just because I do things in a different way, it doesn't matter because it makes me stronger and believe in what I can do. I've always seen myself as a very able-bodied person. It's hard for the word disability not to be a completely devaluing word when it takes away my power. 

Personally I don't see any need to have this word in society. There's so much stigmatism that comes with it, I believe it does more harm than good. Over the years I have become desensitized to it, but every once in a while it will really sink in and hurt me. If I could take the word and change it I would change it to "I have a life challenge". It is a life challenge that is unique to me, just like everyone else. Even with the life challenge that is not who I am deep down, it is someone who is proud of what they accomplish in life.

What Is Normal?

We all have a disability, but you can't always see it.  People only see the disability on the outside and that's where they try to label it. I've endured a lot of labels over the course of my lifetime. Everything from handicapped and special needs to idiot and retard. As you might have guessed, I have found most of them inadequete in trying to compartmentalize... I mean describe me. Some are just downright  hurtful. Frankly I believe that words are just words and they shouldn't be used to label people by what you see on the outside. 

Normal for me is how I feel with myself inside. I used to look at both of my sisters and see them as normal. It used to make me really sad. But now that I am older with a little more life experience, I feel like I can finally live my life and do what I want in the way that I can. I feel like I can finally be me! Normal is really what you want it to be, perhaps none of us can truly reach normal in the same way none of us can reach perfection. I hate how we people put labels on everything, it's just wrong. 

More than that, I really feel like this guy's heart is just not in the right place. There is no solid evidence in the article to support this, but just hear me out.. He talks about how people with disabilities picking up the employment rate so it is on par with "normal" or non-disabled people. I feel like perhaps he sees people with disabilities as a burden on the system. Maybe he believes that having a job is the only way a person can contribute to society. Of course I am supportive of people with disabilities being employed, I just don't trust his motives. 

At the end of the day, I really believe that the word normal is not helpful for people in society. I agree with what Mik Scarlet said "If we can get past this idea of normal then we can be truly equal and nobody would need to be described as such".

A Young Lady Who has Cerebral Palsy Has a Dream to Walk:

Hi Everybody, I hope you're all having a good day. I am doing an update on my progress to walking. I know this is not a big deal to you guys, but it is to me. I hate to say it but it took me 34 years to get up and walk. It has been a difficult journey, in fact right now it kind of sucks. My legs are killing me. It feels like my legs are telling me to forget it, "We are done, we've been sitting in a wheelchair for years, we don't want to walk". It's kind of hard for me because when I set my mind to do something, I won't let it go until I get what I want. This is what I want, I want to be happy, I want to push myself and prove to my family I can do it. So it will take me a little bit longer to walk. I hope you guys will stay on the journey with me. 

Have a good day!

The Voice of A Handicapped Girl Who Finally Accepted Who She Is:

I have come to a place in my life where I can accept everything, even the things I don't like. I don't like that my legs don't move the way everyone else's do, or the looks of pity people shoot at me. I maybe don't like everything about how I look, like the pimples on my face. But I know that it's a part of me so I accept it just the same. 

If I had to do my life all over again, I'd do it the same way. Having cerebral palsy has brought a particularly wonderful person into my life. I've known her about 16 years, but I moved in with her about 4 1/2 years ago. We do everything together and I am so lucky to have her in my life! Sometimes I do wish I had someone who I really connected to like that who also had cerebral palsy in my life. I do know other people with cerebral palsy, but we don't really hang out. Sometimes I just want someone who can relate to me on all levels, including living with cerebral palsy. 

I want people to know that I love myself. I love my life. I'm not ashamed of having cerebral palsy. This is my life. I couldn't have asked for better family and friends to be taking this journey with me. My life with CP is a good life. I want to show people that I have a disability but that's not who I am. I am Shawna Mattinson and I am okay being handicapped. 

This Is My Voice About Being Handicapped

I wrote an article about my thoughts and feelings on having cerebral palsy back in August 2011. It was about what life might be like if I did not have cerebral palsy, and if I would want that life. Being honest with myself, I always think about what if my parents had three normal daughters. Would I be the same person I am today? Probably not. I don't know what my life would be like and I don't want to think that way. I have a good life and I'm so grateful for my family and friends. On the other hand when I see someone in a wheelchair who has no idea what is going on, I don't want that for me. I hope my family would make the right choice for them and my sisters to let me go because I would have no quality of life.

But right now in my life I feel like my disability is helping me to accomplish what I want. I know it might sound crazy that I feel like my disability is an asset to me. But it's true, it's part of my identity. With this condition I live a more powerful story that I can share with others. I hope my story can help others to overcome obstacles in their own life. My own struggle has made me a more compassionate person. But don't pity me! I have done a lot, I'm an accomplished person in my life. I wrote a book about living with cerebral palsy, I went on a 36 day cruise with my best friend, I jumped off the Sky Tower in Auckland NZ.

But it's not all rainbows and daisies, there are definitely some drawbacks to being disabled... When I go out with family or friends, people treat me like a baby. I don't like that because I am a grown woman. They only see my physical disability and they think that I have no idea what's going on. Often times people won't ask me what I want, they ask whoever is with me instead. It kind of sucks having a disability. Some things are hard for me, and it takes me a little bit longer to get stuff done. When someone tells me NO, I don't even understand the word. When something comes my way, I always push through. Or when I talk to people I have to say it over and over because I'm difficult to understand. Relationships have always been difficult for me, even within my own family. I feel like my nieces and nephew don't really want someone like me for an Aunty. It's not their fault and I know they love me for me and I love them too, but it's definitely a different dynamic.

This is who I am, I am on a path on my own. I want to help people understand who I am and what I want out of life. This is also greater than me, the little girl inside of me is finally taking her footsteps to walking. I am not alone, I have tribe of people behind me.