How do you know right from wrong?

How do you know if you are talking to an impostor on line? You don’t.

Maybe I don’t like to talk to people on line. It’s scary.

Sometimes you receive a friend request from someone you don’t know. You check and find out they are already friends with some of your Facebook friends, so you accept. You have some friendly chats, and after a while the sob stories begin. They want you to feel their pain and they want to you to say: Oh I feel so sorry for you, how can I help you? And then of course they want you to send them money. And that’s where I say: Fuck off! get out of my life! And then they come back with: you don’t care for me and if you would care, you would help me! And I will say that in a couple of months I have gotten to know them that they are sitting somewhere in Timbuktu and are lying shit.

It is even more of a trap for people with disabilities.

For example, say that I was talking to a guy on online and he started talking about how he is so lucky to meet me. I tell him that I have a disability and I when I talk, it sounds like I’m fucking drunk. He thinks that is a sign that I am stupid, so he thinks it will be easy to take advantage of me and scam me out of some cash. Come on, who is the stupid one here?!

My next adventure

The thought of having a disability is so hard on my heart! I have been wondering what I should do for my next adventure. I am thinking of another swim race. I found this interesting race on line: the Midmar Mile in South Africa, the world largest open water swimming event. Every year up to 14,000 swimmers descend on Midmar dam to swim 1 mile from shore to shore. Tomorrow I am going back to swimming for the first time in over a month. I had to overcome the minor hurdle of a broken hand first! Every time I am in the water I feel so free and it feels like I don’t have any disability for that time being. I am very grateful I am able to get out of my wheelchair to swim. Every time I am in the water I feel free like a dolphin. I no longer feel any pain and all my worries wash away. If I decide to do this swim I want to do it on my 45th birthday. It would be a big goal! 

Accessibility, Transportation, and the House of Commons!

As some of you may know, I have to take Access Calgary Transit to get to where I want to go on a day-to-day basis. With that being said, I’ve had so many frustrating experiences lately that make me question the existence of their services in Calgary. Sometimes it feels like, instead of improving or bridging the gaps for accessibility, they are making accessibility that much harder and removing the space for someone else to provide the same services, at a better level to actual meet needs

I want to specifically outline a few recent incidents that have occurred, with one of the most frustrating ones being on October 25, 2023. My experience waiting for ACCESS pickup at the Core Shopping Centre left me stuck waiting for over 2 hours, and I believe it's crucial to bring this matter to the attention of the government as this is a common, not rare nor secluded experience that many folks using Access face every single day. 

With that being said, I am hoping to take this all the way to the government of Canada, and I’m hoping to speak in the House of Commons to have my voice heard. From my understanding, Access is a program offered by Calgary Transit to improve accessibility, but such programs may not be available across the country in other provinces or territories, or where they do exist, they have procedural issues in operating to their best capacity. This could be minimized with a federally governed and managed, across Canada, accessible transit system. By managing it federally, this would allow for this program to exist in other communities across Canada where accessibility may be an issue that has not been appropriately addressed and allow for better overview, insight and maintenance of policies and procedures to ensure accessible transit is not inadvertently limiting or reducing accessibility. I want to talk to the federal government, about making their own accessible transit nationwide. 

I have reached out to Access to discuss this in the past, with no changes being made and still running into the same problems. I have since escalated this issue to the City of Calgary, the Mayor of Calgary, many Councillors, many Members of Parliament, the Premier of Alberta, the Office of the Advocate for Persons with Disabilities, and the Alberta Human Rights Commission. I have also once again reached out to Access to provide a solution that addresses the policy and procedural issues with Access inadvertently limiting accessibility for persons like myself, but have not yet heard back. 

 

For some context, these are some of the situations that have occurred which are the reason behind my call for change. The first one occurred on October 28, 2023. My scheduled pick-up time was between 3:00 and 3:20, a window that already poses an inconvenience, requiring me to wait for twenty minutes without a confirmed time. I also have been told to arrive at the pickup location ten minutes before or wait ten minutes after as sometimes the driver may arrive early or late without any warning. To add to my frustration, I did not receive a confirmation call that day regarding my pick-up, leaving me uncertain about whether or not ACCESS would arrive as scheduled - this was the second snow day of this Winter. Despite this, I arrived at 2:40 to ensure I was there on time and waiting, and I waited until 3:30 with no sign of the vehicle.

 

During this time, I called ACCESS five times, each time receiving conflicting information. The first call, at 3:15 p.m. was to confirm my ride and ensure someone was on their way, to which I was informed that a call was merely a courtesy, and that the driver was on the way and 5 minutes out. It would be nice to know if you are getting a ride in such a bad snow storm, and raises accessibility issues as well. Following that,  I called back at 3:20 p.m., and I was advised that the driver was already parked outside, which led to a frantic but fruitless search for the ACCESS vehicle, going back and forth from each possible pick up point. When we couldn't locate the driver, at the exact location they advised us he was it, I was promised a callback after an attempt to reach the driver. No callback was received, and subsequent calls led to similar responses. I called back at 3:25 and got the same response, that the driver was outside. I once again frantically searched at every entrance for the ACCESS vehicle, but with no luck. I was then advised that they would try to get ahold of the driver and they placed me on hold. She picked up again and advised that they cannot get ahold of the driver, and will attempt to discuss with a supervisor and call us back. Once again, we received no call. We called back at 3:30 and were advised that the driver had marked us as a no-show, which was not possible as we were there well in advance and kept checking every entrance, and called to confirm multiple times. This call was forwarded to the supervisor and then I was advised that the driver cancelled, and that this is usually likely due to a mechanical issue, but they would look into it and get back to me. I kept receiving conflicting information the entire time, they were even blaming it on me at some points, telling me I was a no show. An urgent pickup request was placed, and I was told to expect the next pick-up between 4:30 and 4:50, which equates to a delay of approximately 1.5 to 2 hours. I ended up being picked up at 5, which was ten minutes later than expected as well, and two hours after my scheduled pick up time. Once again, this was during our first winter storm this year.

 

I was reassured multiple times that this situation would be looked into to figure out what happened and what went wrong, what could be improved on, and so forth. They took our contact information down and it has since been months since this incident, and we have not heard back at all directly from Access regarding what happened and why. We also attempted to send an email to Access directly, but did not receive a response back on our inquiry into contact information for someone who would listen. 

 

Another situation occurred on Saturday November 4, I was heading home on an Access ride after winning my hockey game. My driver for the drop off was driving on my residential street, almost to my drop off location, which was my house, when suddenly he pulled over. I thought he was looking for my house and so I let him know that it’s right over ahead of us. He told me he had received a message on his computer and he needed to go pick someone up. I told him my house is right there but he said no that he missed the pickup and he needs to go there right now. So instead of dropping me off even though I was basically almost home, he made me tag along for the pickup. Why didn’t he drop me off and pick her up and be on his Merry way? Why make it a whole runaround situation for everyone involved including myself, the other passenger, himself, and the ACCESS vehicle and its gas tank? 

Another situation occurred today on January 3, 2024, where I was scheduled to be dropped off to the Westside Recreation Centre for my weekly swim routine. My requested drop off time was 11 a.m., which Access confirmed means that the earliest time I could be dropped off is 10:40 a.m.by their policies and standards. However, I was picked up at 9:48 a.m. and dropped off at my destination at 10:04 a.m., an hour earlier than requested. I was meeting up with someone, and due to the changes in drop off times, I had to wait almost an hour. That speaks to the barriers and accessibility issues of Access in assisting with daily transportation needs for social commitments. 

 

I want to highlight these situation, not because they are all a one off experience that I experienced, but because this is something that has happened and continues to happen to almost everyone who uses Access, and almost all the time. I have been using Access for years, and have consistently had issues. I was on the Access Eligibility Appeal board in the past and have heard many similar stories and experiences, and have also tried to raise my concerns in the past. It seems like there is no one you can talk to, or nothing you can do to face this systemic discrimination against people with disabilities. Which is why I am taking it to the House of Commons, in hopes to spark a bigger conversation on how we can work to fix this, and improve the lives of Canadians with disabilities who require support for transportation to enjoy their lives and livelihood. 

At this point, it should be reevaluated how accessible the service really is, and whether it is inadvertently causing further barriers and inaccessibility for many people using the service who may not have another option for transportation. 

I’ve been reaching out to many levels of government, but now I am hoping to present my idea to the House of Commons to provide them with my unique experiences and worldview, as well as this new idea to help improve accessibility on a Canada wide scale. 

Stay tuned and start watching the House of Commons for maybe a special appearance from your girl. 

Access suck big time!!

So today I’m really annoyed with Access. I was at core shopping centre and was supposed to be picked up from 3 - 3:20, which is already annoying considering that can’t give me an exact time so I have to stand in one spot for twenty minutes. First of all, I didn’t even receive a confirmation call to begin with, letting me know if or if not I’m being picked up for the day. So I came down at 2:40 anyways and waited until 3:30, with no luck. I called access 5 times during this time, and each time I was given the run around. I first called to confirm my ride, and make sure someone was even on their way. They let me know that someone was, and that the call is just a Curtesy call anyways. So I continued waiting. when no one arrived, I called again and was told that the driver was actually parked outside waiting for me. So we started frantically searching for the Access vehicle, and could not locate it no matter where we checked. The Access support staff told us that they would try to get in touch with the driver and call us back. We never got a call back, so we called them again. Another person told me the same thing, the Access vehicle is waiting outside. Again, stressed out and frantic, we started looking for the vehicle again. Still couldn’t find it and were told that they would try to contact the driver again. Then we were told that the driver cannot be reached and that they need to figure out what to do with their supervisor. I called back again and was then told that the driver had marked me as a no show. I called back again, and was this time told that the driver actually canceled himself, probably because of a mechanical issue. They told me that an urgent request had been put in and I will be next to be picked up. At this point I had already been waiting over an hour, had called back 5 times, and was now being told that the neared driver will take anywhere from 4:30-4:50. Isn’t this ridiculous? That means I am now being picked up about 1.5-2 hours late. It’s the second snow day, and they’ve left people waiting for hours. Hopefully they actually arrive this time, or you’ll hear from me again soon, and this time, I’m gonna be pretty mad about it.

Access

  

It seems like I’m blogging a lot these days. It feels like my blog is my sounding board. And that’s good for me because I can get into shit with my words. I am writing this funny and a little condescending. I don’t really care if I get into trouble so here is my thoughts about access, my favourite topic of my life. I moved to Calgary when I was 18 years old. 

Now I am in my 40’s so that means I’ve taken access for about 23 years. Access is a service in Calgary for people who have disabilities. It is a service that picks people up who can’t drive or walk or take regular transit. In my opinion… it sucks. They have good drivers who I’m friends with and other drivers who I don’t understand why they are working in this field. They are not reliable… There was one time they forgot to pick me up and several times they were really late! 

Or sometimes they come and I’m not ready so they leave. Right now I can book all my trips online and I like that but if I go to the gym and I book it for an 11am drop off they will get me there at 10:20.. it is kind of bullshit. I wish they could have me there like 15 minutes before my drop off time… not 40 minutes! 

I was on the Transit Accessibility board for four years. It was good but seeing it now, what it has become… they need a new system. They phone me when they’re on their way but because it’s an automated system it isn’t that accurate on timing. 

I would like to ask someone from council to ride the access transit for one day… and see how it feels. Maybe I should try my hand at winning the lottery! If I won I could buy a van and a driver to take me around. I could say a lot of bad stuff about access but it’s not worth it for me to get mad about. It’s a system I need to have in my life to get around everyday. 

It’s time to be brutally honest

 I am sick and tired of going about my day and seeing the looks of pity from other people. I am completely over the bullshit that comes along with being in my shoes. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has some internalized biases towards people with disabilities, and I’m fucking over it. I wrote down some questions for you that I want you to answer for yourself with complete honesty. Don’t sugar coat your answers to make yourself look nice, be completely and brutally honest. 

Have you ever seen that show "What Would You Do"?

    - Do you know someone who has a disability?

   - Do you have any friends who have disabilities? If so, what’s the first thing you.   

      see when you look at them?

   -  Do you have a disability? 

    - What is holding you back from dating someone with a disability?

   -  Would you say "hi" to a stranger on the street who has a disability or would you 

       look the other way?

• Would you be embarrassed to be seen with somebody who has a disability? Why?

• Do you speak to people with disabilities in a different way than you do other people? Why?

• Have you ever purposely avoided eye contact with a person who has a visible disability in order to make yourself more “comfortable”? Why?

• Have you ever seen a person with a visible disability in public and given them a look, and wondered “what are you doing out here?” Why?

• Do you interact with people who have disabilities differently than you do other people? Why?

• Do you think it is weird or uncomfortable to see people with disabilities in relationships? Why?

If I had the guts I would go up to someone and ask them "What do you think when you look at me"? Would they be honest with themselves and I? Or would they try to spare my feelings? 

If you want to answer:

What if!!

 I was wondering if I could do something over, would my life be different? On Monday night I watched American Ninja Warriors and there was a guy in his mid twenties who had Cerebral Palsy. He wore braces on his legs when he was a kid and now he is competing on American Ninja Warrior.  He doesn’t have to wear braces anymore. If you don’t know, America Ninja Warrior features an obstacle course and you have to use your upper body strength to complete it. I am doing something like that with Cros.fit every Tuesday and every other Thursday. 

I remember when I was a kid I had to wear braces on my legs too. But I don’t know why I needed to wear them because I couldn’t walk on my own, only with help from others. I used to crawl around the house with the braces on my legs. the braces were pinching my bum, so I didn’t like them. One day I stopped wearing them and I started doing whatever I wanted to. Babies can walk at an early age as my two sisters did, but I was 13 years old when I finally got up to try to walk on my own. I remember one time when I was on the couch watching television and I needed to go to the bathroom; I thought I could try to take couple of steps and see how far I can go without falling. My mom would cautiously watch me from the kitchen but I didn’t care in the moment, I wanted to try to take a few steps on my own without falling. I began taking a step and another one and then two more steps and so on until I reached the bathroom. I felt like a baby taking her first wobbly steps. I know that sounds crazy at 13 years old, but if you were me in that moment you would’ve understood just how big of a deal it was. I will never forget that day. 

Today I can’t take steps anymore because of the mini stroke I had 7 years ago. As a result of the stroke, I have fallen a lot over the years and have split my head open. I still have scars on my head from this. Watching American Ninja Warriors, it got me thinking… if I keep working at it and doing cross fit, would I become as strong as him? Watching him, you would never know that he used to wear braces on his legs. I wonder if I continue to push myself and my body, will I be able to walk on my own again? Will I ever be able to do the same things I did before I had the mini stroke? I am inspired by the stories I hear of others, like this man on American Ninja Warriors, because it brings me hope and optimism. I have hope and optimism that I will be able to help my body heal in order to do things that I used to do, such as taking steps. I have hope and optimism that I will be able to grow and strengthen my body so that I can do even more than I could before. 

If this man could spend his childhood wearing braces on his legs, to now be competing on American Ninja Warrior, what does this mean to me? I was able to take steps on my own before, and now this is an obstacle that I am overcoming. Thinking back to that moment when I was 13 is something that is bittersweet. I wish I could relive it over and over again, but I also use it as motivation to continue to push myself. I know that one day I will be able to do even more than I could before I had the stroke. Everything takes time, patience, and effort. I am going to keep working out and building my strength and endurance. I aim to inspire myself and others.